How to Tell If Someone In New Jersey Has Electric or Does Not?

 

These past ten days have left many of us in New Jersey with so very little to laugh about. Hurricane Sandy blasted our beautiful state.  Many lost their homes and even worse…some lost their lives.  For those of us who were lucky enough to visit the Jersey Shore every summer, the newly carved landscape has left us breathless.  The first few days were met with disbelief but you could sense the communities bonding together as neighbors helped neighbors.  It was like being on a giant Survivor show.  However, when you cross over the ten day mark with no electric, heat, or water somehow you are forced to find the humor in the way it is easy to identify those New Jerseyeans with electric and those of us without.  Here are my eight findings.

1- You can stand in any grocery store and easily identify those still without electric.  Their baskets are filled with wood stacks, Duraflames, bottled water, and any food that does not require cooking.

2- Without much effort, those without electric can be easily picked out in the long line of cars at the high school.  They are the mothers and fathers who are wearing ten sweaters, a scarf, hat, gloves and a blanket over their shoulders.  Generously letting every car go in front of them to savor the heat of the car.

3- Sit in your car at any 7-11 and you will invariably be able to spot more people than not whose hair is going in every direction only to be complimented by their flip flop adorned feet covered with sweat socks.

4- I am not sure if GQ just announced that beards are back in but if they are…New Jersey is taking the lead…and not just the men.

5- Drive through your neighborhoods and the humming sound of generators blast through what was once a “quiet neighborhood.”  You will also know who doesn’t have electric still because the same plastic buckets are collecting water to flush toilets.

6- You can assume that anyone sitting in Starbucks, Barnes and Noble or the local Grocery store cafe with their laptop does not have electric.

7- Take a breeze through Facebook.  Somehow it feels better when you tell people you know and perfect strangers that showering has been a challenge for the past ten days.  In the same light, if you see someone walking into work with their toiletries…no lights at their house.

8- Those sitting at the endless lines at the gas stations with smiles on their face…no heat…the car is a vacation spot now.

 

There really is no making sense of any of this.  Mother Nature was ticked and took her frustration out on our state but I know this…New Jerseyeans with or without electric are survivors and we still love our shoes.

 

Be well Bellas,

Deborah Stilettos

“Because the Right Shoe Can Change Your Life.”

 

A Heel with Bullet Shells? A Good Reason to Step Out

High heels, flats, stilettos…it doesn’t really matter what you call them…I LOVE SHOES!!  This year’s spring/summer colors of orange, lime green and neons will most definitely find  a space in my shoe closet and on the shelves of my store.  Polka dots on footwear almost makes me weak in the knees. Like a dip in the Fountain of Youth, when I put them on I feel young.  The funny thing is…I know I am not alone!!

I had a wonderful day in Deborah Stilettos yesterday-located at 16 W Bridge Street, New Hope, Pa.  Sunday afternoon…and the women were so excited by the new shoes we had gotten in.  When I told them we had over 90 more coming in…they were beyond delighted.  However, the high heel that got most of the attention was my own creation…”Heels of Justice.”

Heels of Justice

I created this shoe as a symbol for all women suffering and recovering from domestic violence.  The many brass 22 caliper bullet shells positioned on this nude Mary Jane are empty representing the end of violence.  The shoe is unique representing the individual strength in all of us.  When you put these on…you are standing tall and strong.

I am recovering from domestic violence and have pledged myself as a designer, business woman, mother, and victim to do all that I can to help women and children who have had to endure the unthinkable…to be degraded as a human being.  Abuse is not just physical violence. It is also the emotional soul bashing that many women endure daily.

The proceeds of these shoes will go to Heeling, Inc., a charitable organization raising money for area prevention and assistance programs.

Be a part of the movement today…make more than a fashion statement today…buy these shoes and let’s spread the word that domestic violence needs to end!

Available on our eBay store: http://stores.ebay.com/Deborah-Stilettos22

Heels of Justice

Thanks for your support Bellas!!

Deborah Stilettos

www.Facebook.com/HeelingInc

 

Screaming Silence Behind Closed Doors

Take a minute and think about all of the women in your life…A mother, a daughter, a sister, a sister-in-law, a niece,an aunt, a mother-in-law, a best friend, a female co-worker, a cousin, a college roommate.  I could think of about twenty people who fell into one of the categories mentioned.  Now what if I told you that of the twenty people  who came to mind five of those women will be the victim of domestic violence inside their own homes.  Six of those women will be raped or sexually molested in their lifetimes.  All of their children will be drastically affected by living in violence. Leaving  their daughters with a  greater chance of becoming a victim… their sons with a higher possibility of being abusers. Startling statistics and yet these are so much more than numbers.  All of their voices are the screaming silences that seep out of closed doors only to fall on deaf ears.

Domestic violence is not just being beaten or hit.  It is being controlled, manipulated, shunned, repeatedly cheated on, publically embarrassed, black mailed, and financially strangled. It is being scared… feeling that there is no way out.  I know because I too screamed and cried and begged myself to leave only finding myself giving him one more chance.  Finally, one very dark night I finally found the front door and the hand of an angel who was willing to help me.  I got out.  My children got out.

We were given safe haven and to my disbelief the abuse continued and in some ways got worse.  I went to the police who could only encourage me to take the matter to a higher authority…the courts.  I was scared.  I felt sorry for him.  I hated myself for not making all of this better somehow.  I regretted not leaving much earlier.  In many ways, I had become sicker than the offender.

Things escalated. I filed for a temporary restraining order. I went to court.  Twenty minutes before I was to go before the judge I almost left fearing that I couldn’t go through with it.  Finally, I was granted the permanent restraining order.  Peace.

I don’t share any of these details to defame the offender.  It is not easy for me to actually write the words because seeing them dance across my computer screen makes them real and I have become an expert at down playing these events.  It has become a way for me to survive.  I am sharing my experience, strength and hope because while the abusers are the direct vehicle in which the abuse is delivered…it is the silence of all of us that fuels the efforts.

I watched a video tonight which I am posting at the bottom of this blog.  I encourage you to watch it.  We spend more money each year in this country saving native birds than saving the women and children of this country. An epidemic that will surely devastate the mental health of our people in the future.  It is not easy for a victim to speak about this.  It’s embarrassing but it is necessary.

If you are reading this and are suffering, please know you are not alone.  Find someone to help you and leave as safely as you can.  We need to break this cycle.  If you have survived abuse, share your story and lend your strength to someone who is feeling powerless.  God does not want any of us to suffer but perhaps he has chosen us…the survivers to reach out and save one of our own…another human being.

A portion of all the sales of www.DeborahStilettos.com, our store on Bridge Street in New Hope, Pa, and our eBay store will donate a portion of our sales to help women and children recovering from domestic violence.

I encourage to hear from anyone looking for help or those who can offer some advice from their own experiences.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s2hu9Zon4s&feature=share

Domestic Violence Facts

Kisses Bellas…”The right shoe can change your life” but more importantly…no one deserves to be abused.

Deborah Stilettos

www.DeborahStilettos.com

16 W. Bridge Street

New Hope, Pa

Join us on the fight against domestic violence – www.Facebook.com/HeelingInc

 

 

 

 

My Deep Dark Secret…and the Hope I Found Through Heels

I am about to step out of my comfort zone and open my deep dark closet for everyone who reads this to see.  There will be some that will read this and question my need to put this in writing and others who know me may be shocked or saddened to learn of what I am about to share.  While I appreciate those of you who fall into either of those categories for taking the time to read this blog, you are not the one I am writing to…I am writing to the woman who needs to hear this.

My life at one time was full of dreams and happy moments.  They were so happy quite frankly that I could never have imagined things turning out the way they did.  But as I look back, there were clues…clues I saw, clues I tripped on and clues I fell over and for some curious reason I continued down the path.  I came from a small town and had protective parents and two younger brothers.  My world was pretty small and sheltered.  I was like every young girl.  I dated, had my heart-broken, laughed a lot, hung out with my friends, and went to college.  School was my thing.  I loved learning and I was good at it.  I received awards, accomplished goals, and met a man who I would eventually call my husband.

Soon I took a path…the path down the wedding aisle, the path to children and a very dark path I couldn’t find my way out of for a very long time.  The years collected and so did the clues.  The changes didn’t happen over night.  They were slow and methodical.  At first, I thought I was just becoming too sensitive as I got older.  I then blamed it on the pressures of life and the demands of having children.  Things progressively got worse  and as they did my excuses became larger and more unreasonable.

And while this was a slow progression, when I finally woke up to see how my life was eroding away, I was not the same girl who left her small hometown.  I was a grown woman who had been ripped to shreds by the razor-sharp tongue by the man she thought loved her.  I became frightened of the phone that it was surely going to deliver another round of stinging words strung together to destroy what was left of my heart and soul.  My closet became my safe haven and I found myself constantly worried about my children, my finances, and my ability to endure the next crisis.

What happen to the girl who was destined to do great things?  How did she become this frightened woman unable to free herself from the grips of abuse?  To this day, I don’t know the answer and yet I find myself asking it over and over.

Then one day…the pot boiled over and a force greater than myself guided me to safety.  I cried, agonized, felt guilt ridden that I had left…a sickness some may call it.  But for me, I felt damaged.  I didn’t think my soul would ever repair.  In some ways, I was not even sure I had enough to go on but I woke up everyday because my children needed me.  I got dressed, put make up on, and functioned the best I could.  Little by little, I started a company.  Not every day was great but everyday was better than what I had left.  Tears slowly stopped flowing and I was actually surprised to hear myself laugh again.  Every milestone I reached allowed me to replace my fears with confidence.  The mountains were still there to climb but I was no longer doing it in bare feet.  I was prepared and gave myself moments to think my own thoughts.

I am free now… Free of the abuse and the unacceptable….free to be in love and be loved in return…free to make my own choices…and free to be in the company of others or in the peace of my own being.  Leaving was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made but it is the greatest gift I have ever given myself.  You only get one life…no do overs, no refunds!  You have the right to be happy…the right to be loved…the right to be appreciated…the right to live without fear.  This may not be your story but if it is…there’s hope.   And this is why a portion of every sale from Deborah Stilettos is used to help area programs fight the horrible effects of this violence.  Cinderella was right when she said “the right shoe can change your life.”

Kisses Bellas

Deborah Stilettos

www.DeborahStilettos.com

To find out more on how you can help, visit us on our Facebook Page  www.facebook.com/HeelingInc

New Pocketbook Uses…Using Your Old Bag

I saw the most novel idea the other day while watching a runway show.  The designer had taken a tote bog and had folded the bag in half.  Essentially making the over sized bag into a clutch.  With every great look comes sacrifices, however you are not losing anymore than if you were just using a clutch bag.  You will have to keep the items to a minimum so the tote will fold in half easily without bulging that might make the setup a little more cumbersome to carry.

What you do gain is the ability to use something already in your closet or treat yourself to a new big pocketbook that you will get two uses out.  In today’s economic times, we are always looking to save a little here and there.  What you save in the pocketbook will afford you a new fun pair of heels, sandals, stilettos, or flats for the upcoming season.  Why not shop at Deborah Stilettos where our heels are $39.95 and $19.95 for our flats for our local store clients.

Can’t wait for you to drop by and see some of our fabulous new additions to our already beautiful collection.  Also remember that a portion of our sales goes to Heeling Inc-our charity to help women and children recover from the horrors of domestic violence.

Kisses Bellas,

Deborah Stilettos

www.DeborahStilettos.com

www.Facebook.com/DeborahStilettos

Heeling Heels

A few years back we had a presidential election that was based on how we could help our communities.  Now whether you were for one candidate or another is really neither here or there.  The point is we were all challenged on how we could help one another.  There are many wonderful charities out there doing great things to help those who are in need.  We like to think ours in one of them.

After a long personal battle of emotional abuse and the murder of my mother-in-law in 1999 from domestic violence, I have pledged my time, part of business and heart to helping others and their families recover from this debilitating and crippling emotional and physical violence.  The statics are staggering that one out of every four women in the world will experience some form of domestic violence in their lifetime.  Children growing up in these environments suffer in silence and often have lower school grades, anxiety and trust issues.

Deborah Stilettos, 16 W Bridge Street, New Hope, Pa and www.DeborahStilettos.com have pledged to make a donation every time there is a purchase at our store or on our website.  It is as easy as just buying a pair of heels, stilettos, flats, boots, lingerie, or jewelry and you will help others free themselves from this horror.

We can’t afford not to help.  For those of you interested in lending a hand to raise money in some of our charitable events please contact us through www.facebook.com/HeelingInc.  Just like our page to help bring awareness.

Thank you Bellas and beaus for taking the time to read this.  It is a cause very dear to my heart.  I hope you will all take a minute and ”like” our Facebook page as well.

Kisses,

Deborah Stilettos

www.DeborahStilettos.com

www.Facebook.com/HeelingInc.