So where to find a date…?  I’ll be honest.  I’m not completely up to this whole endeavor of catapulting myself into the dating scene just yet.  Like I have said before, so much has changed but most importantly I have changed.  I laugh when I think about how many hours I spent in the bathroom in the 80′s blowing out my hair and spraying it with multiple cans of Super-hold Aqua net Hairspray.  Hey…I’m a Jersey girl…the bigger the better.  I probably spend the same amount of time in the bathroom but now it’s trying to staple my eyelids back and glue parts of my face back on.  It may not be that bad yet but you get my point.  Is this some kind of joke dating again at 45?

I have friends that are paddling in the same boat as I am.  Stories from when I was married hanging out with other married people have been replaced with “he expected me to pay, if I heard another story about his ex-wife that he is completely over I would scream, and he runs 20 miles before work every day before doing 2000 push-ups.”  A far cry from “I’m sick of his not throwing his underwear in the hamper, I have to power jack the toothpaste out of his sink and I don’t feel like having sex when I have 106 degree temperature” that we use to sit around the table and pontificate as a bunch of married girls.

I never worried about body parts being in the right spot or worse…wandering.  Yet now I strategically plan for that first date when I use all of that duct tape I bought in the early 2000s (when someone thought that taping up our windows would protect us from an attack) and use it to counter the real weapons of humanity…gravity.  If only I could learn to walk on my hands, things would magically go back to where they were 20 years ago.

I’m not a bar scene kind of girl…my marriage cured me of that and the thought of going on an online dating service…it might work for some but I have seen some of the strays that people have attached themselves to…not really my style.  I thought maybe Barnes and Nobles or the library at least he would know how to read.  I guess when the right moment comes God will magically place him in my path or maybe he has already arrived and I haven’t even realized it.

If any of you have some funny stories to tell of dates you have had good or bad I would love to hear them.  Kisses Bellas.  Deborah Stilettos   www.DeborahStilettos.com